Try

I am trying to hide from the truth
I am in denial
I am excluding the fact
I am feigning ignorance

I know it is impossible
I know it can never be
I know even if I work doubly hard
I know it is a stupid attempt

I shall just go on
I shall not be foolish
I shall try to get it off my head
I shall change everything to improve

I am stronger than I think I am
I know I can do it
I shall try it tomorrow

Journey of life

What is happening now?
What will happen in 10 years time
Would anyone know?
Would anyone have guess?

One could never have guessed 10 years ago
How life would be now

Is it a crime to not want to see what the future holds?
Will it be too much if you dont want to know what tomorrow holds?
Why cant one live for today and today only?
Why must one care about life they aren't sure about?

Isnt it better to live the life today
Like as if there is no tomorrow
But plan tomorrow like as if life will never end

Wee Hours

During this wee hours
My head keeps working
Within this moment
I keep thinking

I need to find a way
I am sure I will if I try hard
I can find the path
Between all the boundaries of life

Where am I heading through the path?
I am uncertain
How bad could it get?
Definitely better than being trapped in the bend

Sick

I am feeling really sick today...I was sick 2 days ago...and the stubborn me...off coz..refused to see the doc..I don't quite like the idea of going to the doc..unless I am miserably in pain or the fever is super high. Normally its self-medicate. My body is strong enough to fight the flu I am having. Ya, and off coz after feeling a little bit better, I went to the gym and went jogging as well. Ad now, not only is my body aching like mad, I am also having a terrible headache. And today, I had no choice but to stay at home to rest. Pop up a few panadols by now for my headache. Its helping. Im still refusing to see the doc. If I feel worse tomorrow, I might just go. If I am better, and I am hoping the latter, I will go to the gym again. I dunno, just feel good when I jog or go to the gym, at least after that, I will be tired and nite and will be able to sleep. These days, I am not sleeping much. I can stay awake till wee hours to read a book or brose thtough stuff on the net or watever. If anyone knows the remedy for sleeping, do drop me a note. I need to sleep. I dont want a a visible eye bags. I doubt I wanna look like a panda. So I need to get to sleep.

Shutting Off

Never knew I was such a nuisance
Never knew I become an annoyance
Never really thought of myself that way
Till you pointed it out to me today

Sad as I am about the fact
I know I will face it with a stride
Coz at least now I know what you think

I am turning off for a while
As I cant accept certain things
I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused
And all the time I have taken

The day

The sun is down
Does it know that is how I feel today?
The day is gloomy
Does it know that is how my heart breaks?
The rain keeps falling
Does it know that is how much my tears have shed?

When can everything stop?
Maybe tomorrow or the day after?
Or maybe never?
I would never know

But everyday, like today
I wish the day to be brighter, happier and merrier
Then maybe the day will shine on me
And make me cheery again

Wishes

If only I am pretty
If only I am lovely
If only I am cagey
If only I am classy

If only I am zippy
If only I am chirpy
If only I am perky
If only I am lively

If only I am witty
If only I am brainy
If only I am merry
If only I am fancy

If only I have wishes
To keep me happy
Those are wishes I wish for me

Slumber Party

My friends and I (Ju, Mas, Suhana and myself) had an early "Slumber Party"...haha...well...its not exactly a slumber party as none of us wanna stay over due to different reasons. Anyway, we spent a good 6 hours at least together, it was like a bonding session for all of us. It felt great definitely.

Off coz we started off eating, as usual, as Jujubie's mum cook for us...which was super sweet and all...coz our initial plan was to buy out...but her sweet mummy cooked for all of us.

Then we played 2 games, watched to dvds and spent a whole lot of time eating junk food...as it is...I sense a sore throat now. Anyway, the first game we played was Pay Day. Gosh, everyone of us was excited about the lottery. At least the lottery in the game was pretty much easier to win than that of the real lottery..not that I have played one, just that Ive never heard of anyone winning it big. And the most unlikely person to win the game, with a whole loads of money at hand...JUJUBIE...haha...yeah...she won the game with over 30 over thousands at hand. She must surely be thinking.."If only the money is real, I'm gonna have loads of fun"...hehe...but too bad ju...its not. Then we played truth or dare and we came out with really unrealistic dare..the dare was more fun and scary than the truth itself...so more often than not, everyone, unwilling to go for the dare, told the truth..which was definitely an easier way to do for sure. And all these was played while watching 2 movies...Hitch (I must say Will Smith is super hunky) and The Eye.

Then finally we went dinner with Angie who joined us at dinner. Nice dinner indeed...had Nasi Ambeng, dunno what is it...super hot but was okay...copeable meal..hehe.

Well, thats how I spent my day today. A fruitful day? Indeed it was, rather than cooping at home doing nothing, well, I might figure out what to do by the end of the day, but then having spent some time with my friends...it was definitely quality bonding time spent, to prolly clear up some differences we may have had for each other, if there was any off coz. Nice time babes!

http://ynr.blogthings.com/

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

You Are a Skin Deep Sweetheart

You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane. It really doesn't matter, because you're confident and secure. You don't go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance. You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade!

Are You Obsessed With Your Looks?

You Are a Light Pink Rose

You represent sweetness and grace. Your vibe: Kind and gentle Falling in love with you: is like falling in love with a best friend

What Color Rose Are You?

You Are a Normal Girl

You are 60% Good and 40% Bad Sure you've pulled some bad girl stunts in your past. But these days, you're (mostly) a good girl.

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

You Are Bold Red Boots

You like to put your most outrageous foot forward!

What Kind of Boots Are You?

Your Hat Personality Is A

Fedora

What Hat Are You?

Men See You As Understated

You are an intreguing mix of girl and woman. You're feminine, quiet, and a total mystery to most men. Yet they often feel the urge to protect you, even if they don't know you. You *are* a flirt, but you usually only flirt with those you know well

How Do Men See You?

This Fall, You Should Wear

Destroyed Jeans

What Fall Fashion Trend Should You Try?

What Your Red Outfit Means

You're bold and risk taking when it comes to style. You are proud of who you are. It doesn't matter what others think. A complete flirt, men are drawn to your confidence. Designer match: Betsey Johnson Signature accessory: A studded leather hobo bag

What Does Your Favorite Outfit Say About You?

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

You are White Chocolate

You have a strong feminine side with a good bit of innocence thrown in. Whether your girlish ways are an act or not, men like to take care of you. You are an understated beauty, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

Your Scent is Rose

Delicate, feminine, and soft Your personality is fresh and understated

What Scent Are You?

You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls

You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl.

How Girlie Are You?

You Are Dark Wash Jeans

You prefer to try out new looks, especially ones that are all your own. You like wearing jeans, as long as you make them part of your style.

What Style of Jeans Are You?

Game

I know I am torturing myself with the game..I knew it was a fatal game..I knew I will be hurt..I knew I will be burnt..I knew I need to get out from it..I knew I would lose even if I stay..I knew I am just buying time to be kicked out of the game..but yet I dont want to step out of it..but yet I am too stubborn to admit it..but yet I am foolish enough to continue a stupid game..or maybe I feel trapped in the game..without the game, probabaly life is meaningless..or maybe I have tried to creep out of the game but I failed so I just stay..well..I really dunno..one thing for sure..I cant seem to get myself out of this deadly game..and either way, the game will hurt me..and I will lose this game.

Be a Better Friend

I am angry
But would you appease me?
I am irritated
But would you calm me?

I am sick of your reasons
But would you care even if I tell you so?
I am annoyed by everything
But would you give a damn?

I am too tired now
I think it is time I give up everything
No more complains from me
No more excuses from you

Maybe then I would better to you
And you would be better to me
So we can be better friends

Tuesdays with Morrie

Finally I catch the show on Hallmark today. And ya..for some reason, this story is so impactful. I read the book before. Though the movie isn't as good as the book I read, it did worked its magic on me..to a certain extent. Well for those of you who don't know what the story is about, I seriously recommend you to invest in one now. The book tells one about the meaning of life...life the quote that is often used throughout the story, learn how to die, and you learn how to live.

Some touching quotes from the movie:
a) So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

b) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.
You see, . . . you closed your eyes. That was the difference.

c) Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too — even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.

d) As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed as ignorant as you were at twenty- two, you'd always be twenty-two.

e) Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.

f) The truth is . . . once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
Love each other or perish

g) Do I wither up and disappear, or do I make the best of my time left

h) Shouldn't the world stop? Don't they know what has happened to me?

i) I decided I'm going to live-- or at least try to live- the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure

j) I am not bothered by the silence. For all the noise I make with my friends, I am still not comfortable talking about my feelings in front of others-especially classmates.I could sit in the quiet for hours if that is what the class demanded

k) Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do

l) Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it

m) Love wins, love always wins

n) To know you're going to die, and to be prepared for it at any time

o) I think in the light of what we've been talking about, all these weeks, family becomes even more important

p) A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops

q) Everybody knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it

r) I don't want to leave the world in a state of fright. I want to know what's happening , accept it, get to a peaceful place, and let go

s) I asked myself, am I going to withdraw from the world like most people do, or am I going to live? I decided I'm going to live or at least try to live the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with honor, with composure

t) Love is the only rational act

u) Without love, we are birds with broken wings

v) Dying is only one things to be sad over, living unhappy is something else

w) Two important messages are (1) you must learn how to die before learning how to live, and (2) that you have to forgive

x) The relationship with your family is important and you have to learn to love them. Because you are dying does not mean that you are dead. You continue to live in love. You need love in your life. Let love into your life before it's too late

y) Live life to the fullest.Death is not the end of the world.It is never too late to talk with old friends

z) One of the messages is to live life to the fullest. And two - is don't be ashamed of dying; it's a part of life

Well...with all these quotes...theres many many more if you read the book...one of the best ive read...hmmm..what are you waiting for...its definitely a good grab...buy it, loan it...whatever it is..read the book..a whorthwhile venture of time, effort and money.

I wish you would know

I don't wish to be ignored
I don't wish to be bullied
I dont wish to be jostled
But I wish you would know

I dont wish to be sad
I dont wish to heartbroken
I don't wish to be hurt
But I wish you would know

I don't wish to be used
I don't wish to be dependent
I don't wish to be injured
But I wish you would know

How could you ever know
When you are never there
How would you ever know
When you never care
Even when you are there

Thoughts

Why do I keep thinking
I want the thoughts to stop
I wish the time will freeze
One when I have a true smile
When will that be
I have no idea

As hard as Ive tried
To make the smile real
It makes it harder with every breath that I take
Since the misery never want to end
If I have an antidote
I would end the misery once and for all

But I would not break
Cause I know I am strong enough
Not to let it break me
From this life I know
I would not change it anyway
Whatever comes along my way

What are you looking at?

Have you ever walk and it seems like people are looking at you?! ANd boy...did that felt awful...well...i dom't normally receive such stares from people...but unfortunately yesterday...that happened...it was like "Look at me day!" Even my friends noticed that the people kept at me...not that I'm pretty...unfortunately I'm not...not that I'm sexy...unfortunately...I'm not...I'm not even attractive...and the clothes I wore...Ive worn them like kezellion times...and never did have I gotten such stares from people like I had yesterday...watever it is...I personally think one shouldnt stare at other...it irritates the one whom you are looking at...and the person will feel like there is something wrong with their face or clothes or something...I kept asking my friends if there is something on my face or my clothes are tattered or something....please dont do that to people...if they those fighters...it could just spark a huge quarrel or fight...and luckily i"m not...though I swear I threw some nasty words under my breath...so for those who like to look or stare at passerby...please do it discreetly...not outrightly...coz I love to do that too...though...I dont literally stare at them...I dont think that is a nice thing to do...u made one really uncomfortable

Boredom and Thoughts

I was complaining hard during those days when I was extremely busy...asked my friends...they could tell..probably..if compiled...my complains can be binded like a book...but now...hmmm...now..its totally the opposites...I am so bored that it is like a torture...I can read a book a day and still feel bored at the end of the day...since I dont have anything to look forward to..no purpose..no nothing...gosh..ya ya...I am a complain queen...and it does set me thinking...why are we never satisfied...busy complain, too free..complain...sad complain...basically..we complain just about everything..we never seem ok and pleased with what we have...like my conversation with my one of my friends the other day.

Question: If you could change anything, what would you change?
My reply: Just about everything..I hate my life.

And sadly that reply was fast...I didnt even need to think what I want to change...then I started listing a whole load of things I wanna change in my life...sadly..I still want those change in my life..but then..I am unsure whether all those changes would be worth...would life be any different with all those changes..I doubt so..like a quote from my friend.."Once you have all that, there are more you want to change" I suppose that is true though off coz at that time..I said I would be happy with all those changes in my life...but deep inside..i know its not true...I can never be truly happy until I decide to be happy and grateful to life itself

VALUE OF LIFE

I heard the news today
And it shaken me
Why you attempt it again
Though you know it spells for countless problems

I heard the news today
And it worried me
How much you don’t value the life
That God has offered to you

I heard the news today
And it angered me
Why you are willing to go through so many twinges
For somebody as worthless

I heard the news today
And it made me ponder
Why you thought about it
Everytime life gives you pain

I heard the news today
And it made me realize
What life can offer
If only one is willing to appreciate

I heard the news today
And it made me want to say
Though I don’t treasure my life as much
I am unwilling to take it away

SAW II

Watched the movie last nite...a gory one indeed...for those of you who know nuts about what I am saying you can check out the preview http://www.saw2.com/. It was rather shocking indeed...hmmm..according to my friend off course.."Its a blockbuster movie and we can actually count the number of people in the theatre"...hmmm...blockbuster or not I am not sure...however...eventually...more and more people started coming in..indeed I have to agree that it was a good movie...the plot and all...very interestingly arranged...and an unexpected ending..though I did suspect the right person for a while...and then thought...nah...it can't be the character...so it sets you thinking...though there are point of time where I just had to close my eyes...couldnt bear seeing some gory scene....but overall rating...it is a good movie...but it is advisable to watched the first one http://www.sawmovie.com/ before watching the sequel..or have someone who have watched to explain a little here and there...although the movie does not really link..it is good to understand the first part to understand the game.

Why

Why can't two people who are blissful be a union?
Why does one seek for another when the special someone is in front of them?
Why are there many boundaries between them?
Why is there pain?
Why is life not simpler?
Why is there always unhappiness?

Two people cant be together cause it is not meant to be
One seeks for another coz one is blind to see the one in front of them
Boundaries are there to put one to a test
Pain is there to make one feels
If life is simpler, one will be contented easily
There is current unhappiness to prevent further sadness

My student's work

I was going thru some stuff..saw this piece of paper written by my one of my students. I taught them to write poems using their names as initially...one kid wrote this poem for me....so sweet and all...coz the task was for them to write their own names...but this particular boy went further than that...sweet

Zero percent of boringness
Abide with disobedience
Reinforcement of happiness I
rritated by the mischievousness
Never be naughty
As it will be horribly noisy
Heavy laughter makes the class flowy.

All of us will be happy
Leaving the class in harmony
In the end the lesson is funny.

I believe the poem is a good start definitely...coz initially i thought they wont enjoy poetry.