My darlingz

These are my new darlingz...my kids for everyday from 7.15 till about 1 pm. They are my students. Heard a rumour that may change soon. May be switching classes with another colleague. Hmmm, I am miserable about that, but if that comes, can I say no? Off coz not, though I do feel like a ball, being bounced around. But till that comes, I shall savour the moment with my devilish yet angelic darlingz.

Plans that falter

Trying to leave,
But can't
Trying to forget,
But fails
Trying to let go,
But falter
Can one stop trying?

Planning to depart,
But stay
Planning to be apart,
But inseparable
Planning to divert
But unachievable.

Wish

I wish I can fly like a bird
Go away from everything
See the world

I wish I can fly a plane
Then I would be able to stop
Where the world belongs to me

I wish I can fly myself
Spread my wings
And fly my way home

Happy New Year 2007

Welcoming 2007, it is a big year for me...a year where I am hoping of changes in life and in everything else I tackle. I hope all of you have a good year ahead and have a wonderful time, great work and most importantly, happiness with the loved ones.

Nina, Zee, Zar, Rin, Rina, Zazabie and finally Zarinah

Travelogue: Australia

It was indeed the most expensive trip ever. Before I went, there were several hick ups. Due to my busy schedule, I was unable to give a date. After I gave a date to my friend and still busy, she was unable to make the arrangement on tics and stuff. So when we finally book tics, we only manages to get tickets by Garuda via transit. I paid about $1400 plus for the whole package to Perth (super expensive...yeah). Then the hick up about hotel and all. After emailing to a lot of backpackers hotel and lodge, we finally took the deal from Wel travel (thanks to Irwan for this) for our stay at Aarons Hotel in Pier Street.

Day 1: 20th December
We set off on that date. I was very excited and looking forward to the trip. While in the cab, I saw this motorbike full of flowers. Damn, I didnt take a pic of the dude. Its cool in an ugly way...hehe...dunno how to describe it...the sunflower bike, even his helmet was full of sunflowers. Anyway that aside, before we know it, we were at the airport, waiting for our flight. It took a while till finally the staff called us, and informed us that we will be stuck inJakarta for a day. We got really worried as they refused to inform us if we will be compensated for this. Then finally when we reached Jakarta at about 11 pm, we were informed that the flight will be delayed till 7 am the next morning instead of 115 am. So we were sent to this hotel called Radin for a rest, complimentary of Garuda. The hotel is pretty nice and the staff were hospitable. We were given dinner, the food was not that bad after all. Pretty good in fact. But our spirit was a little dampen due to the delay.

Day 2: 21th December
The plane finally set off at 830 am. After having a terrible dinner in the plane the previous day (though compensated with a hearty dinner at the hotel), I was in no mood for breakfast in the plane. True enough, they served terrible scrambled egg, hotdog and a few slices of potatoes. I didnt eat much then. Was too excited to reach Perth. Finally at about 2 pm (Perth time, an hour after Sg), we reached Perth International Airport. But the person who was suppose to pick us up for airport transfer was not there. A few calls was made by Yana and then finally about an hour later, the pick up came and sent us to Aarons Hotel. We were greeted by a smily staff (nice guy from Bangladesh). After registering, we finally got our room keys and headed to our room. We took a shower and by 5pm, we went out again, venturing Perth city. Damn, it was rather cold, the wind was chilly. Anyway, Noi bought a few stuff. They were rather expensive. Not worth it to me. After walking around and looking at things eventually, I succumb to the shopping needs and bought a few things too. Finally we all headed home (then was Aarons hotel). We took our shower and then head to bed as we have to get up super early the next day.

Day 3: 22nd December 2006
I got up at 430 am (530 am Perth time) to shower. After showering, I woke Yana up (it was difficult to wake this gal up). Then finally my sis woke up. We had planned trip today and suppose to be at Sightseeing centre by 8am (Perth time). We had our breakfast and asked the waitress the location of the sightseeing centre. She actually gave us the wrong route (but she is a nice gal from China). Then we asked the hotel staff again about the location, it was actually just 5 minutes walk from our hotel. So what we did was we went out, look around the place, take a few more pictures and finally went to the bus bay for pick up for our sightseeing. We are planned for Perth and Fremantle city tour. When we stepped into the bus, it was super smelly. I nearly puked. Probably someone must have puked in the bus the day before and they didnt clean it up properly. Anyway, the drive was rather a bore as they only showed us around in the bus.

We didnt get to stop and take pictures. We finally stopped at King's Park and walk all the way to the War Memorial Centre. Thats not far actually but it was a beautiful walk with many beautiful sights. Then we board the bus again and headed for fremantle.

There we were given an hour to shop. We decided not to take the bus home and venture on our own. After informing the driver, we walked around fremantle and shopped and take a few more pictures. Finally we rested at Freo Curry. The gal who attended us is Indonesian. The food is just okay (not that great) but she is hospitable. She gave us directions to Eshed market (even drew a map). We thank them and find our way to Eshed. There, more bargains to come. Everything was cheap (not to Sg but compared to the stuff in the city). Then we took a train (we didnt know how to use the machine, it was not really user friendly I must say). We took the train back to Perth city (cost $3.20 per pax). From Perth city, we walked back to our hotel. It was a rather tiring walk. Then, after showering, we went out again and headed to Karache Cafe (rude owner who happened to be someone from Sg). So we headed to Oleh-Oleh cafe (definitely much better and friendlier). We had our meals then went to Northbridge to check out the place. Then headed back to the hotel.

Day 4: 23rd December 2006
This is the pinnacle trip. After driving extremely far, we finally made our first stop at Caversham Wildlife Park. I touched the back of a koala and fed the kangaroos. It was fun, but sadly it was rather short. We set off again to the pinnacle. continue on to the Nambung National Park, home of the amazing Pinnacles Desert. There, the driver took us a walk through parts of a fascinating landscape covering some 404 hectares. Then Yana went sandboarding at the dunes. As I do not want to have problems with my eyes, I didnt do it coz the wind was super strong. The highlight was definitely the 4WD drive. It was like a roller coaster, fun. By the time we got back to our hotel, we were too tired. No one wanted to buy food so we decided to eat in the hotel.

Day 5: 24th December 2006
We walked on our own. First, we headed to the Swan Bell. It was pretty nice. The old lady who was there was super strong. It was definitely not easy to pull the bell as it was extremely heavy. Then after that, we continued walking. After that, we took the Blue Cat around and stopped at places to take pictures. We also went to Perth City mosque, Old Port, Swan River, Library, Museum, Art Centre, etc. I can see myself living in Australia. Its relaxing and nice.

Then we headed back to the hotel. We showered and again went out to do some last minute shopping. Then went back again. After that Yana and I went to Northbridge to check out the clubs but Noi stayed in the hotel as she was tired. We took a cab there. Initially, I was pretty worried. What if theres drunkards there? There were many what ifs I must tell you. But it wasnt that bad. However we didnt stay long as I was having a headache. But I must comment the bouncer at Base is goodlooking and nice. So at 12 plus, Yana and I left and went back to the hotel, ready to go home the next day.

Day 6: 25th December 2006
The day we went home. We had boxed breakfast. The hotel transfer was late again so we had to wait. We got to Bali and shopped a little bit at the Airport. I even had a foot massage which was nice especially after all those walking previously. So thats the end of my trip to Australia.

Would I go there again? For holiday, maybe not Perth. I would want to see Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney. But to stay, ya...definitely. Perth is a nice place to live in. But after saying that to my mum, she got rather irritated...hehe...so doubt I can do that. Maybe a teaching stint for a year or two....probably that should be alrite.

My Trip

One of my most expensive trip ever....Whatever it is...Australia...here I come!

The Past Versus the Present

What I need to let go in 2006:
1) The life I have had in 2006(i.e. my past).
2) Those who need to be out of my sight for my own good (out of sight, out of reach).
3) My travelling partner (coz she will be concentrating on engagement and marriage soon).
4) Blocking things (because of my dreams and stupidity).
5) Blocking out certain brain cells that are purely damaging to me

What I need to achieve in 2007:
1) Find new friends for travelling (any takers?)
2) Find new friends to blabber and complain
3) Pu things back into perspective
4) Allow more opportunities for myself
5) Check on my potentials and not my flaws
6) Being more loveable and approachable (especially to certain people)
7) Treasure what God is giving me and not want what I can't get

Vexed
Tired
So today marks the end

Exhaustion
Weary
For all the pain

Extinct
Dead
Thats what the heart is

Crippled
Disgusted
Thats what the body feels

Depleted
Exasperated
That how the mind goes

To end it all
Chase for freedom
For happiness
Let go of the past
Exhume
Then a new beginning reveals

No more

No more answers are required
No more questions seek

No one to probe
No one to bother

No more pain
No more trouble

Leave
To recover

Heal
To be stronger

Endurance
To better yourself

As you are stronger than you believe
If only you believe in yourself more

Questions

The one you seek is never there
The one you adores do not care
The one you love forgets

Is that fate upon you?
Is that how life will always be?
Is that why you are forsaken?

Do not despair
If he does not care
There are others out there

What a day it has been...

Yes, its holiday alrite, and yes, without a doubt I am having a ball of a time, celebrating my holiday. But it has been quite a bore. Been trying to plan stuff to do these days so I do not disturb friends and be a nuisance to other people. And yup, one thing I need to learn to do now is watch a movie alone....dunno...I used to do it in the past, but off late....doubt I can do likewise, just feels weird to be watching a movie all by myself...blame it on all the company I have, made me a less dependent person. Hmmm...I planned to learn some primary science stuff before I teach them again next year...but have I dont it...well I stopped at chapter 2...how progressive rite...and I have been complaining to people I am bored...gee...what the hell rite...if I am bored, I should be doing all that instead of complaining...I suppose if my friends were to count ( I hope they don't), there must have been more than a hundred times I said that sentence...poor them. Secondly, planned to do many difficult math questions....did I do any...answer is none...horror...I should start now...before I dont have time to even start next year....the only thing I did so far is read...well....standard....my novels...been a long since I read...wanted to read a few more of Mitch Albom's books....I read Tuesdays with Morrie the last holiday...was nice...thought this time wanna read a few of his other books...maybe I will soon...if I have the time...currently I am reading one of Robyn Sisman books...well...sweet and nice but impactful...doubt so...I am also trying to get my hands on the book "To kill a mockingbird"...but have not....ok...up to now...a few things I need to do...don't want to be too ambitious this time...a must do during this hols.
1) Go for a holiday
2) Read all those books I mentioned above
3) Disturb fewer people and have more time to myself and I

The story of a girl

True what a wiseman says "You will know that you love someone when you want him/her to be happy. Even if that means you're not a part of their happiness."

This is the story of Rose and the love of her life. Rose and him are good friends for the longest time. They got along very well and spent good times together. Unknown to him, Rose has fallen for him but she always knew he was a star way above her league. Although Rose has a few suitors pursuing her, she kept them a distance for her love for the one.

Then one day, while talking, he told her about another girl, one that he may be falling for. Rose struggled to keep her disappointment off sight. In fact she supported and spurred him onto pursuing the one he loves. She could also throw a smile at him when he responded positively to her suggestion.

How sad that must have been for her rite. Well if you were her, what would you have done? It is true that it is hard to tell your mind to stop loving when your heart still does. But is it worth the pain to love someone and losing them when they are not your to begin with.

What would I have done if I am in that position? Well, I would probably reacted the same way as Rose. It will be depressing, thats for sure. But tome, if that the person you love is truly happy, then all one could do is to be happy for him. But one thing for sure, I would make a silent exit, let the wind brings my word of goodbye.

"The worst pain in the world is knowing that he meant everything to you but you meant nothing to him. But, life goes on once you realize your own strength inside of you: the strength to realize that saying goodbye doesn't mean that you don't love the person anymore or that you don't want to keep them in your life. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means that you've the strength to let go and live your life to the fullest because you've learned that life really is good. You are strong and can only be as happy as you choose."

Lifeless Teddy

You are alive yet inanimate
You are there yet not?
You are close yet far
You are precious yet worthless

You are special yet separate
You are amazing yet repugnant
You are gem but yet just a stone
So how to keep you mortal
That's a journey one has forsaken

It is.....

Hooray, hooray. It's holi---holi---holiday....yeah
Hooray, hooray, lets all come and play!

What is my plan for this holiday.
Read lotsa science books...I really have lost touch in science. Maybe studying English and Lit too much can be quite a negative thing...it made me a non-sicence person. But no worries mate (foresee where I can go in that slang), I have it all planned. I have bought a number of books to ensure that I am prepared to teach Science next year. Another subject that worries me, MATHEMATICS...why is primary Math bloody difficult. I am doing a few questions in Secondary Math, which are ridiculously easy...so why primary math is so freakingly difficult...but no qualms....again I have equipped myself with more books....I bought a few assessments books amounting to a few hundreds to help me with all these weakness or problems I may face next year...where I have to take the tail-end EM2 class...challenges, hurdles...I am prepared...along with a group of boring bunch of teachers (prolly because I don't know them well enough), I will survive next year...I will make it my best year...ya rite!

As for now, besides all those readings and school stuff I am preparing for myself, I plan to do some readings....well...trash off coz...I have not been reading since I started teaching (well I read alot, but all kids books..so that don't equate to reading). Besides that a trip, yeah, definitely a trip..I need a holiday urgently...I need to be far far and away for at least a few days....away from reality...to my dreamland where everything goes on a slow pace...love that. I would also wanna bother a few people during these holidays, one of whom I have blatantly declared...I AM GOING TO BOTHER YOU...haha...looking forward to that...stretching people's patience...hmmm...sleep....lotsa sleep...surfing, what else...well....thats enough for a few weeks...shall think of more things to do as I continue my holi...holiday....whatever it is...my teaching for this year is over (minus the tuitions off coz)...and I met a few nice kids (17 in total) during the 6 months I taught...with many wonderful memories I will surely keep with me forever and ever...ok...dramatic a little....I suppose because I am new..so that happens...yup yup...thats it for the year for me...holiday...here I come!

The Last Day of School

It is finally the last day of the school...for the kids at least. For teachers, we would have at least 3 days more next week before we finally call for a break. Six months down, I am already hating this stupid job. Well, to be frank, I still like the teaching part, very much I must say. But I hated other things about the job. I hate the fact that I am bosses around, I hate the fact that I will be teaching P5 next year, I hate a lot things. I am beginning to even hate the people...which is terribly bad...coz I am not normally like that. But no choice, I don't care anymore. Give me whatever they choose, I will try. Initially I thought of fighting for my class, but in the end, I thought it would be fruitless to do so and it will cause me a lot of trouble, so I decided against it. That also after consulting a few teachers. One of the teachers in school actually had helped me out by voicing my interest to go up with my current class. However, after giving some excuses, I was given another class by the PowerCamp coz one particular person ( the big heads off coz) think I am trained in webblogging....like whatever, everyone can do it...not that difficult. It doesnt take an idiot to learn it....so they shouldnt have a problem with it....but because of it, I am stuck...like whatever ( I am not in English or IT, the two depts handling this), but I have to do it...coz the Powercamps said I have to. Unhappy Unhappy UNHAPPY

Which is better?

Questions to Ponder:

Question 1:
You are given to 2 diamonds to choose from. First one, you love it but it is beyond your means. The second is just okay and you are not keen about. Which diamond would you choose and your reason for it.

Question 2:
You are an angel. You are required to send a person one wish. What would that wish be and your reason for it.

Question 3:
After a long tiring trip, someone ask you out. Who would be the likely person for a yes?
a)Your parents
b)The one you love
c)A friend
d)An enemy
Your reason for it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whatever it is

You don't want to be near
Coz you fear of the rumour you hear

You don't want to be seen
As if it is a sin

Do you really care?
ASK!
That I wouldn't dare

Hurt by this is great,
Life becoming a dread

Could I bury this
Leave it as a hiss

Wish it is that easy
This brain is getting fuzzy
Dealing with it is too dizzy
Making one crazy

Pain

If only I could run,
I would have been far gone.
If only I could hide myself,
It would have been buried deep.

I am losing the control I once have
I am losing the faith I once conquer
I am losing touch of the being that I once held
I am losing the trust I once have for myself

This pain is too much
The anger is too crazy
This hell is too traumatising
This life is too tiring.

Pain

I feel like hailing
I feel like yelling
I can’t take it no more
I have to learn to let go

But why, why am I such a woozy?
But why, why can’t it be easy?

I am tired of pretending
I am sick of seeking the truth

I have lost the track
From all the lies
I have lost the faith
From all the pain

Another Arrow from the PowerCamp

Gosh, yet another arrow...and this time round for the internal audit...how am I suppose to answer the questions....how...how...how...gee....why am I so unlucky....always arroewed to do such things....why am I punished for the lost of those two laptops when I will eventually have to pay for it...why why why....well...I know there will never be answers to all my questions...and no is never an option...the options are always yes or yes to any questions asked....so pointless...just face it and do...the choice isnt mine to make...I have learnt to go with the flow and do whatever is needed of me without any questions...the more you ask...the more work is given to you...so shut up and just do the work assigned to you...sad...but thats life work is for many I suppose...not just for me.