Runaways

An open window,
an empty glass,
a piece of paper wrapped in lace.

One step, two step, three steps, four.
I run across the bedroom and to the door.
Paper in one hand,
piece of lace in the other;
I run out to the field searching for my other.

Evocative scents of distant memories tease my senses driving me insane,
witless and anxious.

Paper in one hand,
piece of lace in the other;
thoughts running wild as I mutter:
“Not again! Not him, not here,
please God not again.

”Paper in one hand,
piece of lace in the other;
thoughts running wild as I mutter: “
Where have you gone my star and sun? ”

Running and searching my eyes drowned in despair,
yelling and calling,
out for the one not there
In despair

Please God,
Return him to me.

Angel

Is this who I really am?
Am I the girl you wished me to be?
Am I strong as u thought I would be?
Am I brave as should be?
Is this who I really am?
Reaching am I too high?
Living in a castle in the sky,
What if I were to fall,
What if I were to cry?
Then will I still be who you thought me to be,
Will your love by my tears wash away,
And leave me in endless stray?
Or will you catch me and show me how love should be?
Spread your wings my Angel for our love is forever free,

This is who I really am,
This is who I will always be,
Found myself in your arms and forever I’ll be
This is who I really am;
In love with thee

Cinta ku selamanya

Ku tahu semua tiada yg sempurna
Tetapi cintaku tak akan terhapuskan sudah
Jalan kita masih panjang
Ku ingin kau selalu disini

aku terlanjur cinta kepadamu
dan tlah kuberikan seluruh hatiku
tapi mengapa baru kini kau pertanyakan cintaku

malam menangis membasahi mata hatiku
aku pun tak mengerti apa yang terjadi
apa salah dan kurang ku padamu
Aku sangat mencintai mu
karna sekali cinta, aku tetap cinta

Biar cinta kita tumbuh harum mewangi
Dan dunia menjadi saksinya
Untuk apa kita membuang-buang waktu
Dengan kata kata perpisahan

Demi cinta kita aku akan menjaga
Cinta kita yg telah kita bina
Walau hari terus berganti hari
Cinta kita abadi selamanya

Ku ingin kau selalu disini
Dan aku bersama dengan mu

Demi cinta kita aku akan menjaga
Cinta kita yg telah kita bina
ku tak boleh hidup tanpamu
AKu hanya dapat mengatakan apa yg kurasa
Ku menangis... membayangkan

Kau pergi meninggalkan diriku
biarkan waktu teruslah berputar
ku cintai kamu penuh rasa sabarku ikhlas tuk bertahan
Jangan tinngalkan akuOh sayangku
Kerana tanpa mu

kekecewaanku sungguh tak berarah
Bagaimana harus aku bertahan
jangan pernah kau berubah
tak relakan yang indah hilanglah sudah
Kerana cinta ku kepada mu amat mendalam rasanya

Hollow

This hollow part of my heart
Keeps yearning for you
I believe this relationship we have
Will be beautiful if this storm passes us

However I cant do much on my side
If you continue to fight
Going against what is true in your heart

This relationship has reached its peak
To end it with a click
Would just mean syaitan has succeeded
In coming in between to us
By us admitting defeat
After all the sacrifices and learning point we have met

This ehart that beat
Feels your heat
Loing you with every fire that lit

Our life story

Jan 1 was when we first met
Friendship was the furthest I thought we would get
We never knew when the first date was set
We will end in our little net

I used to think love was an illusion
Ours, was no exception
However the cupid hits our hearts
And I reached the stage we cant be apart

You love, my darling has brought joy and laughter
To very inch of my heart and soul
With every passing yard

I believe Allah has created you for me
He chose you from the rest
Coz he knows you will bring the best

From this day forward
I have truly shared this promise
That forever and always,
I will love you

Unpredictability of Life

Life is so unpredictable
Changes in inevitable
I dont know what happened
But this sudden change made my world upside down
I dont know exactly what it is
But there is something really special about you

It might be just a surface
And you might hurt me later
But the qualities you have
Your big heart, capabilities and smile
Made everyone admire the love I have for you
You soul has connected to my heart
And the person you really are
I hope to know more each day

I receive so much joy just being able to see you smile
And everytime you tell me, I love you
It made my heart jumped with joy
If I ever figure out the magic that makes you special
It is a combination of everything
You are a rare combination of many special things
Coz you are just amazing.

Inside me there is where my sweetest dream resides
Where my feelings are kept
And where memories of us safely locked
To keep me warm each day
When you are not near me

Sometimes I bring you there purposely
Just to make my day brighter
But more often,
I feel the thoughts of you finds its way naturally

There are times when I am awakened
And realize you are part of my dream
Then during the day when I allow my imagination to run wild
It takes me to your arms and your embrace
It allows me to linger there knowing there is no where else I'd choose to be

I know my thoughts are just my reflection
But it keeps taking me to you

Only the most special things in my world gets to to come inside my heart and stay
I realized hiw deeply my life is with you

14 June

I used to think love does not exist,
I used to believe that it has ceased
But when you came into my live
It made me go for the dive

U realised not only of its existence
But the purity it could offer
I see you patience
It made me softer

I used to say my heart is hollow
But when you invited me with your friendship
You filled it till its not low

The Agony

I thought I wont have to face anymore agony,
But I was wrong.
This pain, this time round,
Is worst than I ever had before.
Coz this love I have
Is much stronger than before.

Think

I am not unhappy about the past
But I do wish to go into the past
I am okay with the present
But it doesnt mean I want to stay in it!

I dont look forward to the future
But look forward to the opportunities
I dont wish for changes
But I do not want to be stagnant

I don't know what I want
Coz I am evolving
My mind keeps changing
I want to stay the same
But yet, I want to be different

Him

Came when loneliness conquers the heart
Filled the empitiness with smiles
The time and moments are gone
Where sadness comes and goes

Treasures the moments together
And dream of the time to come
When she doesnt have to be alone
And he will swept her by

Will there be such time
She never knows
As she lives to know of the crime
That when SHE mimes
He will treat her like foes
And leave the past like throwing a dime.

A poem

It is gone,
Gone by the wind
As the day goes by,
It is shattered
With it, the dream passes by.

It is gone,
The day I remembered,
Seems to be empty
Yet with the ease
It flows.

It is gone,
The dreams are away,
But yet, the memory stays
With it, I treasured.

A Ray of Hope

THe last month has been super taxing for me. It definitely helped to get my life at the backseat as I was swamped with work. It als, however, allowed me to reflect about life, mine to be precise. Why hope and dream when it is wasted? Why waste the life when you are still living. I see a ray of hope in my life. A friend likes to tell me B-positive. Irony isnt it? Even in that there's a negative (-) sign. But according to him, if life is too perfect, you'd be bored and knowing you, you'd be miserable after a too perfect life...Hmmm...Yeah, a sad optimist, indeed a great oxymoron for someone like me. But yeah, due to the stress level and prolly humidity and all thats happening in my life, I had rashes. And yeah, due to the sleepless nights because of the itch, I started thinking....yeah, Im a cancer, so Im a thinker! I started thinking why should I worry and be sad so much of everything that goes wrong. Have I forgotten Murphy's Law? Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, especially if I am involved..haha...well...thats the sad optimist talking...definitely. But yeah, with all these things that happened, I reflected the past year. I am calmer, Im more patient, I take things with a stride and I value life much much more than anyone could ever imagine and more importantly, I love what I am doing and I am beginning to learn to be happy, despite of Murphy's Law acting its force on me! So yeah I am B-ing positive, whatever it takes, positivity, here I come at strong speed!

Fishing

Last weekend, I went to East Coast. At East Coast jetty, I saw many people fishing, yeah...interesting indeed....so many people, men and women, young and old very much occupied with the activity. Anyway, that aside, I saw something disturbing. After they caught the fish, these people left the fish to die on shore....instead of ending the fishes' life immediately. Off course, me, being me, commented a lot of things to my friend who was also there about the cruelty. Just imagine if these people had to go through that! I must say, if you want to fish, there are 2 ways you can do it, either kill it once and for all or put the fishes in water, at least, it wont be gasping for air....it was such a sad sight....how can they be eating those fishes they left to die like that...spare a thought!

The Event

King of fruits: Durian

What else would it be then? With its unique odour, and thorn covered husk, this fruit is indeed heaven, at least to most people. I think it comes from the malay word 'duri', which means thorns, it is rather pricky. This fruit can be rather powerful as its smell. I am not sure of the fact, but it is claimed to be 'heaty' and can cause excessive perspiration. To counteract that, there is a certain claim of pouring water on the shell after the pulp is taken out and drinking the water after consuming the durian.

It is also not advisable to have durians with beer, I am not sure the reason for that though since I dont drink and I rarely take durians.

But what I am unsure is why is durian smelly? Well here is the tale behind the smelly durian...http://everything2.com/title/Why+the+Durian+is+Smelly. However, I couldnt find the scientific reason for its awful smell...would love to know the answer to that!

New Encounters, Old Pain

Its scary how things are so similar
But yet so different

Its alarming that old wounds are opened
And I am the cause of it!

Its shocking how things evolve
From light to emotional

Its frightening if you can't face the fact
When I made a spectacle of myself

Its definitely myseterious
How life deters us from living

Its haunting if the past hunts us
And we died because of what happened to our 'former' life

Its difficult to let go of the past
But we must and we have to
Thats the only way we can start living
And we can move ahead

New Memories, Old ones

Well, wonder how it would be like if it didnt change
Imagine life to be different
Disturbing as it seems
Those thoughts visited me

It could have been different
But destiny as it is
Has arranged it to be this
And the flow of life follows

Imagine if things were different
Had it been this or that?
Will it be?
No, it wont!
So we must move on

Keep on walking ahead
Off course slow steps
Snails in fact
But it will be a success
If you try
It will only be a failure
If you stop living
Coz your heart doesnt stop breathing
Just because the person is not there!

If Tomorrow Never Comes

If tomorrow never comes,
I would want to live to the fullest.

If tomorrow never comes,
I want to be uplifted.

Happiness will give me strength
Happiness gives me a purpose
But happiness is rare

I thought I would not have survived!

I thought when it's over,
I'd be dead
I thought I would not be able to survive the ordeal
It was too painful

But I managed to live
I survived!
Though I'm scarred by the past,
I am moving on.

I am a better me today,
I don't live for yesterday no more.
Today is precious,
And tomorrow I'd build my future.

I have erased yesterday's memory
And fill it with today's dreams
I may still have my woes and worry,
But one thing for sure,
I have found a new me!
A new stronger me!
I can survive anything,
I am back from the world of dead,
To stay alive!

A Meeting with a Pyscho

It was definitely a scary meeting. The day started of as usual. It was the day before my exam, last Tuesday to be precise. I went to the Community Centre, as usual, to study. Mas came along as we had planned to study together. An hour plus after, a psycho went into the study room. He definitely looked like a psycho, the way he slammed the door and pressed the buttons on the aircon controller. Mas and I smiled in agreement but we didnt say anything. About 10 minutes later, as Mas and I were about to discuss on one of the questions on the mock exam paper, the guy came and shouted to us, "Can you two girls shut up? I would appreciate it if you two shut up!" He did that at the top of his voice. Then Mas, who is definitely a fighter, started to point out the fact that he lowered down the temperature at 16 degrees when everyone else was feeling cold. He said, "I don't care. I am feeling hot." So what Mas did? She went towards the controller and increased the temperature. Next thing that happened was a push from the pyscho. He pushed he hard I must say. Mas started getting really angry and an argument started. Then in the midst of it, Mas showed him how hard he pushed her, though I must say, not that I am siding her, her push wasnt as hard as his. When Mas pushed him, he suddenly lunged towards her and strangled her on her neck. I was too shock to react. But after getting back my composure, I pulled him from his back, worried that he could cause harm to my friend. He pushed me aside and brushed his long fingers on my arm which resulted with a scratch on my arm. Then we started screaming. By then another girl who was at the study room had gone down to report the case to the staff. We decided to report this nutcase to the police. We went down as well, with him screaming names and vulgarities at us. As we knew we had no time with police report and all, we decided to let the CC called the policce instead.

About 15 to 20 minutes later, the police came and took our statements. Apparently they could not arrest him as it is under involuntary cause of hurt or something along that line. Then, the policewoman even told my friend that she is at fault as she retaliated. As we are tide up with our revision and could not waste time, we decided not to press charges. The crazy dude is freed. However, the CC gave out a letter to inform him that he could not enter the premise again. At least, somehow, at least something was done.

I was rather taken aback by a few things here, first how the authority, in this case, the police reacted to the case. They placed everything in a matter of factly, without considering how we could have felt at that moment, especially after such traumatic incident.

Another issue I was disappointed was how a friend reacted. I mean, if you tell this to anyone, they would not think its funny as it is indeed, not funny. But this friend of mine, laughed and made a joke out of it, which made me pissed. Really showed, how much a friend I am to the person!