I am tired

Tired of explaning
Tired of asking
Tired of convincing
Tired of concluding

You said one thing
You do another
I am tired
But I am still believing

I wish you could be stronger
Before I show this anger
If you keep this longer
I will end a lone ranger

Will you try
Coz this is making me cry
My fear is running dry
With your lie

Please try to understand
This pain I have inside
Keeping the plan
When you abide

The longer it takes
The worst it aches
I have trown myself in the lake
With the cofession I make

What is life without love

We often wonder whether we can live without love
We often underestimate our ability to love
We oten cover the blunder of our life and love
And become a hunter in our own love

A Hope In the Relationship

It started a while back
Eight years to be exact
It feels unreal
The Civilian World War Memorial
Though we didn't feel
And then a meal
Our friendship begin

Five years, we are friends
Never crossed the unintends
One day I had to rend
A shoulder of yours I lend

Never knew that things would change
To a different range
Initially it was strange
But after a while it felt like destiny, prearranged

Like you said, the cinema was when we held hands
Though we were unsure how we would expand
I hope we will be able to withstand
And they will understand

Three years into this that we create
And I hope we will eventually conjugate
This feeling I have for you will inflate
As we procreate

Im praying hard it happens
As our feelings deepens

Not much impression left behind
After the meeting
But friendship stayed on
Though no meetings till the dawn

Creation

It you who creates it
This little joy
Its you who detroys it
This bundle boy

What is done
Is forgotten
What is won
Is taken

Have you lost
The meaning of life
With a high cost
When you go for the dive

Don't kill it
To keep the kit
You've got to give a hit
And let the fire lit

For them you need to
Coz they depend on you

Wired

Gazing at the stars
Questions flow
Its moving to fast
I didnt know

I'd be nowhere
If this continues
It is unfair
Coz I'm losing the fuse

The world around me
Is still moving
I let it be
As it is too disturbing

What's there to express
When everything is done
Trying to keep abreast
With putting my head with a gun

Trying but failing
To overcome it
Buying but losing
To reach the bit

Crossroads

Stood at the crossroads
Cold and confused
Amidst the people
The stretch between east and west

One a reality, the other from the virtual world
A reality that never sets in, and a virtuality of facts

Tired of rolling the dice
And counter on luck
Decide to walk alone
Across this journey

A note for my love

Goodbye my friend
Goodbye my lover
We are destined to meet and part
Leaving is no longer new
I will go where I can find peace
I need peace
I need love
You win
I no longer needed this
I tried to be good
I tried to be second best
I tried to be the last option
But I couldnt take it anymore

So goodbye my friend
Goodbye my lover

Dead Soul

Tears flowed
But had to be hidden
Pain felt
But too hurt to be beaten

What should be done?
The painkillers don't keep it away
The ache too deep
I have known none

I want to give up
I want to let go
But I can't

God,
I need the strength
For I have failed in life
I have tried what I forbided
I have gone to hell

I need a reason to keep on living
For life is too meaningless
I need an antidote to this sore
For I feel worthless

How do you know he cares?

He says "we" instead of "I"
He wants to talk to you
He is able to make you laugh
He doesn't laugh at you, He laughs with you
He comforts you when you sad
He remembers things about you without you telling him
If you cry, he offers a shoulder without being sexual
He talks about the future of both of you together
He wants to meet you
He introduces you to his mum
He wants to meet your family
He compliments you on your look
His friends know who you are

Off course, the list continues...

Peak of Stress

I am at the peak of my stress mode. Many questions in my head. Are my students ready? Can they sit for the paper confidently? Will they pass or fail? What if they fail? Does that mean I am a bad teacher? Does it mean I had not given them enough remedials? Should I try to give them more remedials? How much more? Gosh.......I am stressed. I hope my students can make it. Please, let them remember all the things taught to them.

The Event

Glory days are back to stay
It marks the way of living
Looking forward and awaited for far too long
Eventually it is coming
Gathering of minds and souls
Venturing to new beginnings
Exploring the options
So fun it is!
Let the fun begins...

Today

Today, I am learning to accept
I am learning to forget
I am also learning to let go

Today, I hope things are better
I hope it will be okay
I also hope I am stronger

Today, I am staying happy
I am staying positive
I am also staying healthy

Today, I am avoiding pressure
I am avoiding stress
I am also avoiding anger

Just

No apprehension
Just broken
No care
Just desire
No effort
Just forgery
No grins
Just happiness
No jokes
Just kindness
No lamenting
No mimicry

Nonetity
Not open
Just partnership

Quarrels
No relationship
Just severe
No tension
Just unmoving
No vengence
Just withering
No yakking
Just zonked

Pretender

I can't stand the her, so pretentious. Dislike her . I don't know why I dislike her even more. I have been very accomodating but no more of such. Days of being nice is over!

How do you let go

This time go for it? But how? How do you let go of someone you love? Especially if it has been 8 years! You have tried your best, patience, well, its definitely your game but even that is running out. Whats your plan is not his? So why be stuck in it?

Its always easier said than done. Many has said let go!Acknowledge the end! Accept there's no future and reestablish life! But how?! How to do that when you are feeling so miserable?

Well everything happens for a reason. Accept
that reality, move forward, plan for your future!

But how to forget the past when it is there before you?!

Let go! Free yourself from the hurt!

More pics of Lombok

Lombok Pics

Lombok Here I come

I am going LOMBOK...yeah....bored and sick of my life here....If I can go far on my own, I would have done it! Stay away and be far and be happy for at least a month! But too bad, I can't. So this short trip is fine!

Point of no return

Time and again I told you its over
Time and again I took cover
By thinking you are the perfect lover

Time and again you hurt me
Time and again I let it be

I'm tired of the cry
My patience is running dry

The only thing that is keeping me strong
Is this love I have inside

How long more can I endure
That I can't tell for sure
Thought this love we have is pure
You have tinted it to a point of no cure

Tuesday

Today is Tuesday
I started the day
Feeling gay
But you treated me like hay

Come what may
I'l make sure I don't pay
By keeping at bay
And stop the play

I thought you'd stay
That's what you say
So I just followed you way
But I see that I am heading for the slay