A friend recently lamented about life and brought the issue of suicide. Instead of telling the person to go against it, I helped the person to think of ways to die..though the ways may not be exhaustive...and pleaseeeeeeeeee, those who read this, do NOT attempt any of it coz its juz a joke to make the person think and value life, so I added humour in some of the ways. And too bad I could not add all the emoticons, it would have been more impactful.
Below is the list and the consequence of each method:
1. Hit/bang your head till you die
You will die with excessive bleeding on your head, UGLY
2. Sing until you die
Your throat will swell so much it covers your face
3. Plunge to your death
You will be splattered and all the beautiful skin gone wasted
4. Gunpoint to yourself
Hmmm, but with a toygun, so in the end get bored and die with all the make up gone
5. Laugh till u die
Sure, you'd be so wrinkled, again...UGLY
6. Cry till no water left on your body
Imagine, shrink yet bloated...visualize the reasons for that
7. Freeze to your death
Then you will die like a ghost, so ugly with wrinkles all over
8. Drown yourself to death
You will look horrific when bloated, just imagine
9.Scream to your death
Like no. 2, only worst
10. Punch yourself till you die
OUCHHHHHHHH! Then you need a pyschiatrist if you are able to do that, not death
11. Saw to your death
But must watch those thriller movies first, and you must also be a pyscho
12. Vomit till you die
Die with puke all over, SMELLLY
13. Burn yourself to death
Pain Pain Pain
14. Tickle yourself to die
Wrikles again, especially on the eyes area
15.Kick yourself till you die
But you need to cut your legs first, saw look at saw
16. Run till you die
Hmmm, imagine all those muscles bulging on you, and you will perspire and all...yucks
17. Do acrobats till you die
But you might die with your face on the butt if you fold yourself wrongly, UGLY!
There should be more ways, just can't remember them anymore..You can add on if you need to...please feel free to do so...but friends....thinking of the ways is much harder than just valuing your life as it is, so make the wise choice...choose to live....life is never easy, the challenges make life worth to stay alive. Be smart, not drab!
3 comments:
Woa soo many methods that will end me up looking ugly! Hmmm maybe i shud consider Retail Theraphy instead. Besides with the long list of suicidal options, it will take me forever too decide and i will end up living anyway.:D - The chronically blase one.
Why cant i hav normal frens!
u shud not be the princess os darkness but it shud be princess of light..... coz ur smile is dazzling.
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