A note

Holding on to an empty heart
Really shallow inside

I blame no one for the pain
Only myself to have had it retained
Though there's nothing there to gain

The misery will be over
Just needed to take cover

Only by keeping the lifeline off
Though its hard as the heart is too soft

No despair is needed
Not defeated

Only blessings when expired
And memories be transpired

Suicide Note

I was reading suicide notes from internet. No! I am not planning a suicide attempt and NO I don't have suicidal tendency. Just that sometimes when life is not heading the way I want it to be and the depressive mode is switched on, I feel better after reading such letters and notes. I may sound selfish and self-centred but these notes actually make me feel better and I will realise how minute my problem is as compared to many others. It will then hopefully make me want to be alive and achieve other aims that I've set for myself. I would then want to focus on my objectives and one of which is living itself. It also made me realised, how foolish to live life in such sadness due to such ache

But I can't imagine, if I ever write a suicide note, then what would the content be?

Wiriting one may be my triumph! And my freedom of my own pain. I will write it one of these days. Then you'd be my judge!

All the memories filled me in a throb
Pretending to be dead
Escaping from reality
But this dead heart
Still bleeds

I am an enemy to my own heart
I just need it to be lifeless
Then the pain will not clasp my heart
So I could set it free

For the first time,
Things will never be the same again
For the first time,
It marks the end

Thought it would be better
But felt battered
Pain and tattered

Drowned beneath the bane
Sinking in the rain
Trying hard to keep sane

Feels like catching the first train
As pain is even in the brain
Already feels drained

PSLE is over....at least for my students

Yessssssssssssss......exam is over! Finally. So tiring! But happy that its over. My kids are also happy. I received many smses from them....all smiles and sounded really super duper happy. In fact, I was also in high spirit today, I never felt that...for the longest time. And what time school ended today for...1030am...the earliest I've ever had...and I left right after that....It sure felt good....finally...I'm able to just go off...without feeling stress that probably I've not given my students enough remedials....I'm called perverted, remedial queen and many other names...well...I had to...I feel responsible to ensure that the kids pass their exam or at least leave the school...I don't expect others to understand...I just need to ensure myself that I have tried my best for these kids...the rest is up to them and fate...not I am leaving everything in the hands of God...pleaseeeeeeeeee....let all my 22 kids pass.