The Wake Between Life and Death

Though the lights are glimmering
It is glitters of darkness
Though the crowd is cheering
There is a sense of quietness

All one could hear
Is one's own breath
Fighting to keep it alive

The wires are still intact
But it is not helping
The machine is working
But it is slowly fading

All one could remember
Is one's desire to see the sun
Fighting to keep it alive

Death Act

A friend recently lamented about life and brought the issue of suicide. Instead of telling the person to go against it, I helped the person to think of ways to die..though the ways may not be exhaustive...and pleaseeeeeeeeee, those who read this, do NOT attempt any of it coz its juz a joke to make the person think and value life, so I added humour in some of the ways. And too bad I could not add all the emoticons, it would have been more impactful.

Below is the list and the consequence of each method:

1. Hit/bang your head till you die
You will die with excessive bleeding on your head, UGLY

2. Sing until you die
Your throat will swell so much it covers your face

3. Plunge to your death
You will be splattered and all the beautiful skin gone wasted

4. Gunpoint to yourself
Hmmm, but with a toygun, so in the end get bored and die with all the make up gone

5. Laugh till u die
Sure, you'd be so wrinkled, again...UGLY

6. Cry till no water left on your body
Imagine, shrink yet bloated...visualize the reasons for that

7. Freeze to your death
Then you will die like a ghost, so ugly with wrinkles all over

8. Drown yourself to death
You will look horrific when bloated, just imagine

9.Scream to your death
Like no. 2, only worst

10. Punch yourself till you die
OUCHHHHHHHH! Then you need a pyschiatrist if you are able to do that, not death

11. Saw to your death
But must watch those thriller movies first, and you must also be a pyscho

12. Vomit till you die
Die with puke all over, SMELLLY

13. Burn yourself to death
Pain Pain Pain

14. Tickle yourself to die
Wrikles again, especially on the eyes area

15.Kick yourself till you die
But you need to cut your legs first, saw look at saw

16. Run till you die
Hmmm, imagine all those muscles bulging on you, and you will perspire and all...yucks

17. Do acrobats till you die
But you might die with your face on the butt if you fold yourself wrongly, UGLY!

There should be more ways, just can't remember them anymore..You can add on if you need to...please feel free to do so...but friends....thinking of the ways is much harder than just valuing your life as it is, so make the wise choice...choose to live....life is never easy, the challenges make life worth to stay alive. Be smart, not drab!

Sentosa

On Monday, June 12, my NIE mates and I went to Sentosa for our group's bonding session, not that we are not bonded enough, hehe, we are going out with each other a lot...hehe...especially lately. But thank goodness, if not, I am sure I would be more miserable than I am now...yeah

Anyway, the things we did we

Luge and Skyride
Carlsberg SkyTower

Those rides were fun, especially the first one. Gosh the Luge ride was like a go-cart, super fun, can speed, but I was behind a weirdo who did not know how to get the car in the rite mode, was going on a frenzy, and me being me, don;t want any injury to myself went pretty slow, just to avoid the crazy driver. My friends went real fast I think. They were back much earlier than I am. But it was fun nevertheless

Some memorable moments: Picture moments as usual

Exterminate this pathos

Demolish it
Abolish it
Slaughter it
Abrogate it!

This sorrow
This pain this
This desolation
This degradation

Punish me
Hurt me
Injure me
Shatter me

I'm gone
I'm done
I'm a coot
I'm out of the boot

So it's over
So it's leaden
So it's finish
So it's goodbye

Exterminate it
Clear it
Cleanse it
This pathos in me

Princess of Darkness

Perplex as the mind is
Rattling on the past and present
Interwoven in between
Nestled by the darkness
Complicating the mind and soul
Entangled between reality and fiction
Staggering for the truth to emerge
Sensing a misfortune in life

Optimism is beyond grappling
Fantasy is the infelicity

Dumbing the forsaken mind
Angling towards disaster
Ravishing the moments as it comes
Kinder deprivation is seek
Nothing seems an exhilirating
Endless pain at extrimity
Sunking for sure
Stumbling at terminal

Confusion

You always disorientate me
Abashing me into deeper misunderstanding
Unsettling this mind
Into an uneven madness

You keep me in daze
Muddling into my inner sense
Rioting between the good and evil
Shambling me into the ghetto

Destiny

I get it now
I understand now
I am insignificant to you

Didn't realise
Never knew
I am gullible to you

Will end it all
Will stop it now
This game we've had

Never to worry
Never to bother
Have deleted everything

Let's just forget
Let's just head our way
To our life's destination

This smile

This smile
May just be a façade
It may not reflect the truth

We are playing our roles here
Keeping the smile to make others happy
If we can’t be happy,
Why not let others be happy

Lost Right Now

Tried as I might
Can't get the life back
Fight as I might
Can't block the memory track

Lie as I would
Can't hide from you
Bluff as I would
Can't wish to be true

I will try to block it out
I will attempt to get it out

I will survive the bout
I will clean the doubt

Humanity

Do not hope for gold
As you may just sell your soul
Do not wish for plenty
As it could lead to misery

Ensure we don't let it control our live
Make us no better than a ruthless mammal
A soulless creature with no warmth

Anorexic

What is anorexia?
In basic form, it is eating disorder, which most of my friends are having. I may have had the same problem once upon a time, but why does one become anorexic. Before I tackle that question, let me go through the tale-signs of an anorexic person (ju, please look thorugh this...impt for u!).
1. Refusal to maintain normal body weight
2. Denial that the person is skinny
3.Scared of becoming fat when they are actually thin
4. Kept saying they are fat when they are not
5. Feeling depressed, withdrawn or compulsive behaviours
6. Having unnecessary fears about gaining weight

Well, maybe there are a lot more tell-tale signs that I am not aware of. But surely, having gone through all these I may think that I may have had that problem once though lucky for me, I was able to get out of it before it became detrimental to my life. My reasons for that is stress. During a certain period, I undergone a huge stress which I was unable to handle. And the best way, or the only way I know then, something that I can handle and tackle easily, my weight. I became skinny and kinda sickly, Did my stress go away? Definitely not, I still have to overcome the stress and face it. But I am lucky and not everyone is as lucky. So what is the reasons for people to face this problem?

According to this site I read, this disease usually appear in bright, attractive young women between the ages of twelve and twenty-five, although there are both older and younger exceptions. (. On the same site, you can read the people who are at risk of having it. But I will highlight generally those who are high-risk of anorexia

1. Female adolescents are generally at risk of anorexia nervosa. In addition, the following are particularly at risk:
ballet dancers;
athletes;
perfectionists;
over-achievers;
those who have been generally over-weight.

So the best cure to this is by preventing it. We shoudl have a positive attitude in life and not develop unrealistic goals and aims for ourselves. And most improtantly, live life to the fullest and happily to our fullest potential, never push ourselves insane as it may cause problems which we never invite.

Why

Why ask
When you don't care
Why bother
When you don't give a damn

Why pretend
When you don't bother
Why act
When you don't even explain

Shut off!
Sure...
You are good

Shut off!
Sure...
It could be solve

Whatever it is
Won't bother
Whatever it is
Won't care

Will just let it go
Will just set it free
This ache, this mind

A slap of the truth

Though I told myself not to wait
I did
Though I tried to be strong
I'm weak

Though I said no
I did
Though I kept holding on
I freak

See what happened then
A truth
Slap on the face
A truth
I seek to see
A truth I don't wish of me

I am unhappy with it
But I shall accept it
I am unhappy with it
But I shall endure it
I am unhappy with it
But I shall face it!

Need to be me

I don't want to let you go
But I have no choice

I don't want you to leave
But I know you will

I don't want to hope
But my heart is doing so

I don't want you to disappear
But I know you are

I don't know what I want anymore
As what I want is not what I will get

So to hell with me
To hell with life

I just need to move on
I just need to be strong
I just need to be the me
I know best!