Wow, before I know it, holiday is here. The time I look forward to. But I realise I feel quite empty. Hahahaha, weirdly, I want school again. Ya, crazy. Maybe because of the sudden feeling of being free after a hectic and quite scary period. Well, many things happened during this semesters.
Besides having many meetings with one of the big bosses because of the kids under my charge, I also got into a few troubles myself (trying to forget the details). Whatever, it is, everything is solved now. I sure hope the new semester brings new beginning and challenges but not problems for me.
Anyway, next week, I'd be flying to turkey for 10 days. Initially, I was excited and looking forward to it but after the bomb blast, not really. I am kinda worried. Hopefully nothing happens, especially to my sis. I don't really care about me, just doesnt wanna go home and face problems. So hopefully we will both be fine. Then it will be an experience I wont forget, an exotic place.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
The truth
Then, there were the doubts
Now its obvious
Then, swooned
Now broken
Previously, sweetness
Now shattered
Happiness and wonderful
Turned sour
When the truth emerged
Reflection seen directly
Pretense
Ignorance
But never forgotten
Now its obvious
Then, swooned
Now broken
Previously, sweetness
Now shattered
Happiness and wonderful
Turned sour
When the truth emerged
Reflection seen directly
Pretense
Ignorance
But never forgotten
Steps to Don't Know What
First Step: Friendship
Second Step: Humiliation, Beginning of the end?
Third Step: A fight, Number deleted (stupidly memorised it)
Fourth Step: Silent
Step 1, 2 and 3
Next Step: Message after message ( Due to stupidity)
Anger thrown
Then, an invitation but rejection
Expected
After which, pictures erased
Memory still clear
Hopefully fading away
With the distant
Strength surfaced
Disappearance
All change
Second Step: Humiliation, Beginning of the end?
Third Step: A fight, Number deleted (stupidly memorised it)
Fourth Step: Silent
Step 1, 2 and 3
Next Step: Message after message ( Due to stupidity)
Anger thrown
Then, an invitation but rejection
Expected
After which, pictures erased
Memory still clear
Hopefully fading away
With the distant
Strength surfaced
Disappearance
All change
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
James Blunt - Tears And Rain Lyrics
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same:
it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same:
it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
Crestfallen
Fallen tree
What happened?
Just yesterday,
You triumph in success
You stood tall
Fruitful
Today,
Crestfallen
Bare and abandoned
Dried and dejected
Are the days cruel?
Were the weather against you?
Were there troubles?
Obviously
You've taken so much pain
All your best dreams
Shattered
Trashed
Because of the rainy days
Life isn't treating you well
But you endured
For whatever it is,
You were once strong
What happened?
Just yesterday,
You triumph in success
You stood tall
Fruitful
Today,
Crestfallen
Bare and abandoned
Dried and dejected
Are the days cruel?
Were the weather against you?
Were there troubles?
Obviously
You've taken so much pain
All your best dreams
Shattered
Trashed
Because of the rainy days
Life isn't treating you well
But you endured
For whatever it is,
You were once strong
The End of Beginning
Do I mean anything
Off course not!
Don't I know about it?
Off course you do!
Do I really care?
Off course you do, at least you did!
I definitely chose the wrong path?
You give as good as you get.
I am doomed
Sadness succumbed me!
Don't be a fool
It's not the end of the world
It's something that I should never plunge into
Now I am burnt deep
It has always been a game
A foolish game
I have set myself on fire
Igniting the flame
It will only hurt you
Let it die
I know I am dumb
I know I am a rat
But never did expect such terms from you
You can't expect anything
Nothing will come from me
Whatever is given is taken
But don't expect anything in return
Admitting defeat now
Or jump to the end
Don't be silly
Just declare that you are trounce
By me, Your Friend
Off course not!
Don't I know about it?
Off course you do!
Do I really care?
Off course you do, at least you did!
I definitely chose the wrong path?
You give as good as you get.
I am doomed
Sadness succumbed me!
Don't be a fool
It's not the end of the world
It's something that I should never plunge into
Now I am burnt deep
It has always been a game
A foolish game
I have set myself on fire
Igniting the flame
It will only hurt you
Let it die
I know I am dumb
I know I am a rat
But never did expect such terms from you
You can't expect anything
Nothing will come from me
Whatever is given is taken
But don't expect anything in return
Admitting defeat now
Or jump to the end
Don't be silly
Just declare that you are trounce
By me, Your Friend
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Whats unspoken is articulated fluently
Recently, a friend said something that may not be music to the ears. It was a rather nasty remark thrown for no apparent reason, at least not whatever is said.
It made the mind thinking. Is that true? Does that reflect who I am? Am I that terrible? Would I have done the same had there been a twist of fate? Would I say nasty things to the person I care, even if its friendship that I am seek? Would I treasure the friendship and not give such comments?
Maybe I gave the person an avenue to pass such demeaning judgement on me? Would I do the same to anyone, especially my friends? Maybe not, not to even my enemies.
But what to do, the hurt is done. Its non reversal. Probably, its God's way of showing me the signals I am asking for. At least, now I know better, at least I can see clearly how I am perceived in your eyes so I will accept it.
Apology offered and accepted. But will it be forgotten? That remain a mystery as the hurt left a deep cut in the heart as you are the last person I would expect such remarks from.
It made the mind thinking. Is that true? Does that reflect who I am? Am I that terrible? Would I have done the same had there been a twist of fate? Would I say nasty things to the person I care, even if its friendship that I am seek? Would I treasure the friendship and not give such comments?
Maybe I gave the person an avenue to pass such demeaning judgement on me? Would I do the same to anyone, especially my friends? Maybe not, not to even my enemies.
But what to do, the hurt is done. Its non reversal. Probably, its God's way of showing me the signals I am asking for. At least, now I know better, at least I can see clearly how I am perceived in your eyes so I will accept it.
Apology offered and accepted. But will it be forgotten? That remain a mystery as the hurt left a deep cut in the heart as you are the last person I would expect such remarks from.
Hurt
Sometimes, intentionally or not, a friend hurt our feelings. Maybe its never the intention. Its always easier to accept such pain from enemies and strangers, but never from a friend.
Weeks
A week left for school
Two weeks left before the departure
Two weeks away from reality
A week of drilling for the kids
Then thats it,
Back to all the routine
Two weeks left before the departure
Two weeks away from reality
A week of drilling for the kids
Then thats it,
Back to all the routine
Insults
Smouldered by such apprehension
Offensive utterance
Malicious utterances
Wouldn't that cause abrogation
Slashed with explosion
Garbage was more admirable
Maybe not meant to be
What's said can't be condensed
Now truth is clutch to the soul
Tears fallen
Gone are those spirit and joy
Along came the hurt
If only reality was slapped earlier
Departure will be made ahead
Leaving the agony of knowing
Far from the knowing self
Offensive utterance
Malicious utterances
Wouldn't that cause abrogation
Slashed with explosion
Garbage was more admirable
Maybe not meant to be
What's said can't be condensed
Now truth is clutch to the soul
Tears fallen
Gone are those spirit and joy
Along came the hurt
If only reality was slapped earlier
Departure will be made ahead
Leaving the agony of knowing
Far from the knowing self
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Jealousy
Last Friday, feeling happy for my students, I shared my happiness with a few colleagues. One of my kids (22 of them altogether) scored 90 marks for Mathematics. I felt extremely happy for her, thats why I shared it with the fellow teachers.
Then a teacher threw a nasty remark. Well, maybe she has been like that all along. Off coz, her underlining meaning is "It's not you who helped her." I told her off by saying " I am not taking the credits, I am just happy for my students and I wanted to share with those who would be able to understand how that feels. Actually I think she should too as she is also in the same league, teaching less abled kids who are are academically slower than the rest of their cohorts.
What I don't understand is the jealousy one feels. If it were me, I would be happy and congratulate the teacher. Such remarks will not even cross my mind, let alone throwing it to another person. But what to do, some people are just so competitive. Anyway, though that person will never be able to read this blog, I would like to highlight to anyone who reads this and have such a thought on others, stop and reflect. When it comes to the kids, teachers should never compete like that. You can compete healthily.
Like two colleagues of mine. SUperb. They are super competitive against each other. But ultimately, its to the kids benefit. They don't put the other down (hmmm....in a manner that is condescending off coz). It can be quite scary but yeah, their competition seems much healthier than what this person is competing. Horrific!
Then a teacher threw a nasty remark. Well, maybe she has been like that all along. Off coz, her underlining meaning is "It's not you who helped her." I told her off by saying " I am not taking the credits, I am just happy for my students and I wanted to share with those who would be able to understand how that feels. Actually I think she should too as she is also in the same league, teaching less abled kids who are are academically slower than the rest of their cohorts.
What I don't understand is the jealousy one feels. If it were me, I would be happy and congratulate the teacher. Such remarks will not even cross my mind, let alone throwing it to another person. But what to do, some people are just so competitive. Anyway, though that person will never be able to read this blog, I would like to highlight to anyone who reads this and have such a thought on others, stop and reflect. When it comes to the kids, teachers should never compete like that. You can compete healthily.
Like two colleagues of mine. SUperb. They are super competitive against each other. But ultimately, its to the kids benefit. They don't put the other down (hmmm....in a manner that is condescending off coz). It can be quite scary but yeah, their competition seems much healthier than what this person is competing. Horrific!
To love or not to love
To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. "Do you love me or not?" That question may have been asked by many. But how does one answer that question. How do you know you are in love? What is love? It is definitely not an easy question to tackle no matter how hard one cracks his head.
Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but it is always about caring. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.
Lust is confusing quasi-love feeling. Its a physical attraction two people feel about each other. But its definitely not love.Its based on instant chemistry rather than caring for the other. You may lust for someone and not care for them. Sex is all that matters in lust but love goes much deeper than that. Love makes you feel as serene when you and your partner are together.
However, is love enough? What if the love you have for each other has many objections? Is it better not to be in love when love only give heartaches? Well, definitely not so for those who are in love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails
Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but it is always about caring. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.
Lust is confusing quasi-love feeling. Its a physical attraction two people feel about each other. But its definitely not love.Its based on instant chemistry rather than caring for the other. You may lust for someone and not care for them. Sex is all that matters in lust but love goes much deeper than that. Love makes you feel as serene when you and your partner are together.
However, is love enough? What if the love you have for each other has many objections? Is it better not to be in love when love only give heartaches? Well, definitely not so for those who are in love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Turkey...here I come
Today, in a month time, if everything goes smoothly, I would be in Turkey, enjoying myself for 10 days.....so looking forward to that.
But before that can happen, I have a list of things to do:
1) Mark English exam papers
2) Mark Math exam papers
3) Key in exam results
4) Key in attendance (for absentees)..I have done till April
5) Prepare slides for Science
6) Call up the orchid vendors (he didnt response to my email...hmmm)
7) And some other stuff not related to work
Then holi holiday for me...away from this reality to my dream mode...the feel good mode (will I be missed by anyone in Singapore...hmmm sadly, its unlikely)...then when I come back, back to work on the last week of school holidays.
But before that can happen, I have a list of things to do:
1) Mark English exam papers
2) Mark Math exam papers
3) Key in exam results
4) Key in attendance (for absentees)..I have done till April
5) Prepare slides for Science
6) Call up the orchid vendors (he didnt response to my email...hmmm)
7) And some other stuff not related to work
Then holi holiday for me...away from this reality to my dream mode...the feel good mode (will I be missed by anyone in Singapore...hmmm sadly, its unlikely)...then when I come back, back to work on the last week of school holidays.
Why do people make so much noise in cinema
I watched a hindi movie recently and boy, it was a rather shocking experience. At first, I was quite shock that the theatre was rather crowded...well, maybe because its a weekend. Secondly and most irritating part, it was super noisy. They were clapping and there were kids running around and making so much noise.
Anyway, probably because the movie was rather boring except for the good looking hero but then the kids wouldnt be keen on that part...hehe.
Then I received a message from my friends asking me to rescue them. I was like " Huh?!" After hearing what had happened, I still thought it was a joke. They claimed that they had a super duper bad stomach pain after eating the food at this famous restaurant where we frequent. Thinking that they were kidding, I told them I can't as I was busy watching a movie. Then another message came...off coz its for real. Then I was worried (They are rather frail and thin...they might just collapse and die..I cant have that on my conscience)...so I told one of them, I will come over if they seriously need some help. But my two frail friends managed to get a cab and sent one of them home. The other, who did not suffer as bad as the first one, continued her DATE (off coz she claimed its not a date...she was just going out with a fren) but I bet it was a date.
Yeah, so overall, not a bad weekend..In fact it was a good weekend for me.
Anyway, probably because the movie was rather boring except for the good looking hero but then the kids wouldnt be keen on that part...hehe.
Then I received a message from my friends asking me to rescue them. I was like " Huh?!" After hearing what had happened, I still thought it was a joke. They claimed that they had a super duper bad stomach pain after eating the food at this famous restaurant where we frequent. Thinking that they were kidding, I told them I can't as I was busy watching a movie. Then another message came...off coz its for real. Then I was worried (They are rather frail and thin...they might just collapse and die..I cant have that on my conscience)...so I told one of them, I will come over if they seriously need some help. But my two frail friends managed to get a cab and sent one of them home. The other, who did not suffer as bad as the first one, continued her DATE (off coz she claimed its not a date...she was just going out with a fren) but I bet it was a date.
Yeah, so overall, not a bad weekend..In fact it was a good weekend for me.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Poem: Wei Sheng
My student's poem: Wei Sheng
HER NAME IS SANDY
SHE LOVES MONEY
SHE HATES BABY
SHE IS A FATTY
WHO LOVES HER DADDY
HER NAME IS SANDY
SHE LOVES MONEY
SHE HATES BABY
SHE IS A FATTY
WHO LOVES HER DADDY
Poem: Wilson
My student's poem: Wilson
her name is sandy
she loves money
and she hates monkey
but she loves mummy and daddy
her name is sandy
she loves money
and she hates monkey
but she loves mummy and daddy
Poem: Ye Hao
My student's poem: Ye Hao
l am walking in the night
l saw a robber running in the night
l began to on the light
l am walking in the night
l saw a robber running in the night
l began to on the light
Poem: Yue Ling
My student's poem: Yue Ling
SnowWhite
If i am SnowWhite
i will be as white as candy
If i am SnowWhite
i will be as pretty as money
But what a pity,
That's not what really fancy.
SnowWhite
If i am SnowWhite
i will be as white as candy
If i am SnowWhite
i will be as pretty as money
But what a pity,
That's not what really fancy.
Poem: Auckland
My student's poem: Auckland
If I am Elmo
I can be Elmo and gain a kilo
First,I will add but I don't know
After a cup of milo
I will be that hero.
If I am Elmo
I can be Elmo and gain a kilo
First,I will add but I don't know
After a cup of milo
I will be that hero.
Poem: Sharnesh
My student's poem: Sharnesh
It was a spooky night.
I saw a gang fight.
I call the whole block to come and fight.
But when the gang came back
It gave the block a fright.
It was a spooky night.
I saw a gang fight.
I call the whole block to come and fight.
But when the gang came back
It gave the block a fright.
Poem: Wei Lin
My student's poem: Wei Lin
Hello today i'm going to write my poem!!
Her name is candy
She s money
She hates monkey
She is skinny
She is good at hockey .
Hello today i'm going to write my poem!!
Her name is candy
She s money
She hates monkey
She is skinny
She is good at hockey .
Poem: Hui Sheng
My student's poem: Hui Sheng
I feel like flying.
I feel like weeping.
I feel like sleeping.
But I want to keep winning.
So I have to stop dreaming.
And start studying.
I feel like flying.
I feel like weeping.
I feel like sleeping.
But I want to keep winning.
So I have to stop dreaming.
And start studying.
Poem: Hsueh Erh
My student's poem: Hsueh Erh
If I am happy
And not angry
If only I am chatty
but a beauty.
I will truly feel happy
If I am happy
And not angry
If only I am chatty
but a beauty.
I will truly feel happy
Poem: Nuruddin
My student's poem: Nuruddin
It was a creepy night.
I saw someone fight.
so I called the police and turned off my light!
It was a creepy night.
I saw someone fight.
so I called the police and turned off my light!
POEM: Yu Sheng
My student's poem: Yu Sheng
I WISH FOR A GENIE
I WANT TO BE BRAINY
BUT MY MUMMY SAID TO MY NANNY
I AM JUST A BABY.
I WISH FOR A GENIE
I WANT TO BE BRAINY
BUT MY MUMMY SAID TO MY NANNY
I AM JUST A BABY.
Poem: Kwang Wei
My student's poem: Kwang Wei
I shall be what I want to be
So that I can be happy
not dreamy.
I shall be what I want to be
So that I can be happy
not dreamy.
POEM: Yu Shan
My student's poem: Yu Shan
If i am a strawberry
I will add a cherry
To my strawberry
Than I would be merry and happy
If i am a strawberry
I will add a cherry
To my strawberry
Than I would be merry and happy
Poem: Ashik
My student's poem: Ashik
I am winner
I am not loser
I am a striker
But not a better
I am a giver
But not a taker
I am the best
I am winner
I am not loser
I am a striker
But not a better
I am a giver
But not a taker
I am the best
POEM: Shahfiq
My student's work: Shahfiq
I WISH I AM DREAMING I WISH I AM FLYING
BUT I CAN NOT BE caught napping
AS MY teacher will be beeping
AND MY PARENTS WILL BE NAGGING
I WISH I AM DREAMING I WISH I AM FLYING
BUT I CAN NOT BE caught napping
AS MY teacher will be beeping
AND MY PARENTS WILL BE NAGGING
Poem: Fathullah
My student's poem: Fathullah
I wish i am dreaming,
I wish i am flying ,
I wish i singing,
But my teacher will runt ,
And my parents will hunt,
Then I won't have fun.
I wish i am dreaming,
I wish i am flying ,
I wish i singing,
But my teacher will runt ,
And my parents will hunt,
Then I won't have fun.
Poem: Melvin
My student's work: Melvin
If i am sleepy
i would sleep like a baby
if i am noisy
i can be quite naughty
when i am happy
i can be quite funny
If i am sleepy
i would sleep like a baby
if i am noisy
i can be quite naughty
when i am happy
i can be quite funny
Poem: Jeffrey
My student's poem: Jeffrey
I play Hockey because I am sporty
and I am not a shorty
I wish I was brainy so I do not need to study.
If I do not win I will be crazy
I play Hockey because I am sporty
and I am not a shorty
I wish I was brainy so I do not need to study.
If I do not win I will be crazy
POEM: Zhi Chao
M student's work: Zhi Chao
I LOVE TO FLY
I WOULD LIKE TO TRY
TO FLY IN THE SKY
I WILL BE HAPPY TO FLY
I LOVE TO FLY
I WOULD LIKE TO TRY
TO FLY IN THE SKY
I WILL BE HAPPY TO FLY
POEM: Anatasha
My student's work: Anatasha
Hi, Hello, Today I'll be writing a poem for you.
If I am a dreamer,
I would have the greatest dreams
If I am a shooting star
I could fly like a bee
If I am a bee in a flower
I'm just a girl in the tree
But there's just one problem
Whta will I grow up to be?
Hi, Hello, Today I'll be writing a poem for you.
If I am a dreamer,
I would have the greatest dreams
If I am a shooting star
I could fly like a bee
If I am a bee in a flower
I'm just a girl in the tree
But there's just one problem
Whta will I grow up to be?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Doubt
Unsure of what you are doing to yourself
Afraid to think of the outcome
Towards self-destruction?
Pop it up
Till you feel no pain
Vomit it out
Till nothing is left
Tore yourself
Till you don't feel distress
Afraid
Surely
Dead
It will happen
If this goes on
Afraid to think of the outcome
Towards self-destruction?
Pop it up
Till you feel no pain
Vomit it out
Till nothing is left
Tore yourself
Till you don't feel distress
Afraid
Surely
Dead
It will happen
If this goes on
Questions
Dunno what I want anymore
Everything is blurred
Dunno what I care any more
When it is lost
I know I can't take it anymore
All the pain I've endured
Truthful
Is what I must be to myself
Keeping is no longer an option
Decision has been made
May not be what I want
But it's the best
No more pretense
Stronger
To keep at bay
Everything is blurred
Dunno what I care any more
When it is lost
I know I can't take it anymore
All the pain I've endured
Truthful
Is what I must be to myself
Keeping is no longer an option
Decision has been made
May not be what I want
But it's the best
No more pretense
Stronger
To keep at bay
All of it is gone
All the chances
All the rejections
A gift definitely
Safeguarded
But yet lost
Memories are left
Only for me
All the rejections
A gift definitely
Safeguarded
But yet lost
Memories are left
Only for me
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